Helping ourselves to be happy

In any moment, to manage our mental health, we can focus on three things:

1. Our environment
2. Our action
3. Our self-talk

OUR ENVIRONMENT

If we were looking after a friend, we would try to make sure they were comfortable, but sometimes we don’t do the same for ourselves.  We allow our bodies to become tired and twisted as we contort ourselves with effort.  We let the temperature get cold or hot, forget to adjust our clothes, let ourselves get hungry or tired.

We need to be our own bosses, to check our environment, and adjust it if necessary to make sure it is conducive to our comfort.  Stop to check, now, that your environment is OK for you.  Change a few things to make yourself more comfortable.

OUR ACTION

I say action, not actions.  We are built to focus on one thing at a time.  A bit of focus helps us to choose what we are doing, and also to give it appropriate attention, whether we are talking to someone or getting a task done.

We need to be present where we are, and with what we are doing.  If we are absent, then we are not really doing the action, are not really here.  Stop to check, now, that you are really here, and not off worrying about something else.

OUR SELF-TALK

We talk to ourselves all the time, using undermining or encouraging phrases, depending on our habit.  Are we saying nice things to ourselves, the kind of things we would say to friends?  Or are we anxiously undermining our own efforts with worries about how it will all turn out?

We need to be our own good friends, to internalise the best of talk, and apply it to ourselves.  Stop to check, now, your own attitude to yourself.  It does not have to be arrogant or narcissistic.  But make sure you are saying appreciative things to yourself, supporting and encouraging yourself.

Through the day, try to check in on these three things:

1. Environment – Can I appreciate and improve my environment, make myself more comfortable, make things even better?
2. Action – What am I doing right now?  Can I focus on it, and appreciate and enjoy its importance?
3. Self-talk – How am I talking to myself?  Am I feeling undermined by my own thoughts, or can I find words to say to myself that are appreciative and encouraging?

You would wish this for a friend.  So do it for yourself.